Running in the Dark

By Laura Edwards

Two nights ago, I ate an early dinner and waited for several hours to give my grilled cheese, my apple and my neighbors a chance to wind down. Then, I donned a reflective hat, strapped on my Garmin watch and laced up my running shoes. With a bungee cord in hand, I jogged .7 miles under inky, starless skies to the home of my friend, Andrew Swistak, a fellow runner who works at The Fletcher School, where my sister, Taylor, spent six wonderful years.

Just after sunrise on the morning of Nov. 16, I will pull on a blindfold after I lace up my shoes, and Andrew will guide me through the 13.1-mile Thunder Road Half Marathon course on the streets of my hometown of Charlotte. I will attempt to run the entire race without the gift of sight to honor the five-year anniversary of Taylor’s first 5K race, which she ran in conjunction with the 2008 edition of Thunder Road with the help of an older student from Fletcher.

But on this night – National Running Day and my first training run with Andrew – I had no blindfold and, with corrective lenses, perfect vision. Our goal for the evening was to get accustomed to running with the bungee cord.

blindfolded run 1

Early on in our run, though, Andrew took me to the track at the middle school by our neighborhood so we could get used to making turns. And in that protected environment, he asked me if I wanted to give blindness a try, at least for a minute. So I closed my eyes.

Right away, I lost my spatial awareness. The bottom dropped out from under me. My legs turned to Jell-O, and my body felt as though it was not my own. I couldn’t run in a straight line.

But soon, with Andrew’s help, I found my bearings in my dark world. I think we ran five laps around the track. Andrew said that for the most part, I stayed in my lane, even on the turns. I learned to understand the meaning of his tugs on the bungee cord. After a while, we left the track and returned to the neighborhood. I figured out how to make 90-degree turns and 180-degree turns and shift to the side for an oncoming car. At one point, Andrew asked me if my eyes were really closed. And they were.

I thought I’d mastered running blind – albeit much more slowly than I run sighted – until I mistimed a curb jump and twisted my ankle. And in that moment, I remembered that NOTHING about blindness is easy, just as nothing about this race will be easy.

But nothing about Batten disease or rare diseases is easy, and nothing about our fight to save people like Taylor is easy. And a twisted ankle on my first attempt isn’t enough to stop me. An ACE bandage, an ice pack and a couple of days’ rest work wonders for such injuries. And besides, going to work with an ice pack taped to my ankle gave me a natural opening to tell plenty of people about my blindfolded run and the reason behind it, so we spread Taylor’s Tale this week.

And I have a great guide in Andrew Swistak, not to mention a healthy dose of inspiration. There will be no twisted ankles on Nov. 16. We’ll be ready.

I am running the Thunder Road Half Marathon to support gene therapy co-funded by Taylor’s Tale at the University of North Carolina Gene Therapy Center. Donations to this cause are 100 percent tax-deductible. To support my run and our fight to develop treatments for Batten disease and other genetic diseases, click here.


Run to the Light

By Laura Edwards

My little sister, Taylor, has Batten disease. But that didn’t stop her from signing up for Girls on the Run in the fall of 2008, at the start of her fifth grade year at The Fletcher School. The degenerative disease had already stolen her vision and made it difficult for her to learn new things, but more than anything, Taylor wanted to be a normal kid, and she dared Batten disease to get in her way.

In the afternoons after school, Taylor and her girlfriends met at the track for practice. They developed good fitness habits and learned about teamwork, and they learned to believe in themselves. An upper school student named Mary-Kate stayed after school to practice with the younger girls. When it came time to walk or run around the track, she and Taylor each took one end of a modified jump rope – my sister’s lifeline to a normal experience she desperately craved.

At the last practice of the semester, the girls ran a “practice” 5K around the school track. All of the other girls finished their laps before Taylor and Mary-Kate. Then, as the pair rounded the corner and began their final lap, something magical happened. One by one, everyone on the sideline joined my sister and her sighted guide on the track. Soon, the whole team, plus the coaches and others there to watch the practice, fell into stride with my sister and ran her final lap with her. Girls on the Run Founder Molly Barker happened to be on campus that day to watch practice and meet the girls; she captured this incredible moment in a story for North Carolina’s Endurance Magazine that Gap Inc. also featured in a national campaign last year.

Mom's photos 232

The team’s first REAL race took place on a chilly morning that December at the Jingle Jog 5K, run on the streets of uptown Charlotte in conjunction with the Thunder Road Marathon and Half Marathon. Mary-Kate told us that Taylor stumbled and fell several times on the course, but that after each fall, she pulled herself up, said she could keep running, and did just that. The tethered pair finished the race in just under an hour. They didn’t run fast enough to win an official award, but watching them cross that finish line remains one of the most moving things I’ve ever witnessed. In that moment, I realized that I could never, EVER give up on my sister or my fight against Batten disease. And when the trees bloomed that next spring, I started running for her.

Taylor and Laura after the Jingle Jog 5K in 2008

Taylor was all smiles after the Jingle Jog 5K in 2008.

I’ve run thousands of miles for Taylor since that day at the finish line of the Jingle Jog 5K. I run the Thunder Road Half Marathon every year and run various other races in Charlotte and elsewhere, from 5Ks to 10 milers, and I’ve shaved more than 30 minutes off my half marathon time since my first go at the 13.1 distance in 2009. But I’ve never come close to achieving the kind of feat my sister accomplished, because I’ve run every race with the benefit of my vision. That’s why, to honor the five-year anniversary of her incredible achievement, I plan to run the 2013 Thunder Road Half Marathon blindfolded. 

I’ll be tethered to my good friend, Andrew Swistak. Andrew is an avid runner and is also on staff at The Fletcher School, where my sister spent six wonderful years and met many guardian angels. I’m grateful to have Andrew’s support as well as the support of the folks at Run For Your Life, who put on the Thunder Road Marathon and Half Marathon.

Andrew will be my sighted guide at the Thunder Road Half Marathon this November.

Andrew will be my sighted guide at the Thunder Road Half Marathon this November.

I’m in half marathon shape now, but I’m not ready to run 13.1 miles – or even 13.1 feet – without my eyes. Have you ever closed your eyes and tried to move around? It’s not easy to run in the dark. I’m in awe of Taylor’s spatial awareness and courage. Andrew and I have some practicing to do between now and Nov. 16, but we’ll be ready.

I’m doing this mainly to raise awareness of Batten disease, but donations to Taylor’s Tale are always greatly appreciated. Currently, Taylor’s Tale and five partners are supporting gene therapy for infantile and late infantile Batten disease at the University of North Carolina Gene Therapy Center. This promising work could lead to treatments for not only rare diseases such as Batten disease, but also more common diseases like Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer’s disease and ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease). If all goes well, this work could be ready to go to clinical trial at UNC in just a few years.

Please share this story to help us build awareness! We’re making incredible progress in the fight to save people like Taylor, but we need the support of friends like you to continue to make a difference.

I have a little bit of my sister in me; I believe, and I dare Batten disease to get in my way!

To support my run and our fight to develop treatments for Batten disease and other genetic diseases, click here.

NEW: Join the Taylor’s Tale team at Thunder Road! Click here to register for the marathon, half marathon or 5K. On the second page of registration, under “Event Groups/Teams,” select “Taylor’s Tale” from the list under “Choose an Existing Group.” Run for us to help raise awareness on race day. Stay tuned for more details, including special shirts for team members and an informal post-race event!

running for Taylor


When the Eruption is Over

By Laura Edwards

It is not easy to paint a picture of Batten disease for people who have never seen it before. If you wish to paint with a large brush, you can tell them that children born with Batten disease never survive it; that it is total destruction; like a molten wave of lava and volcanic rock and ash.

Batten disease is not easy for most people to understand, but everyone can see that Taylor is blind. The destruction reached her eyes first. They are still beautiful and rare, the color of the caramel inside a Milky Way bar and framed by impossibly long lashes. But they lost their sparkle long ago.

Mom and Taylor at Crater LakeFive years ago this past January, a clinical trial coordinator brought my sister’s honey blonde hair to us in a Ziploc bag as we waited in a chilly waiting room in Oregon, thousands of miles from our home on the East Coast. Down the hall, a surgeon drilled eight holes into my sister’s skull and gave her hope. Not life, but hope.

For the next several years, my parents and Taylor made frequent return trips to Oregon. Once, they rented a car and drove south to Crater Lake, one of our country’s pristine natural wonders.

More than half a century ago, Freeman Tilden, said to be the grandfather of park interpretation, wrote a text, “Interpreting our Heritage,” that is still used to educate rangers today. One of the essays holds special meaning for us.

The essay, “That Elderly Schoolma’am Nature,” tells the story of a park naturalist meeting a man just inside the rim of Crater Lake. The naturalist can sense that something is different about the visitor from the moment he sees him but only comes to the determination that he is blind after noticing the man’s very dark glasses and putting all of the clues together.

And then, the visitor asks the naturalist to describe the lake to him. But how do you describe one of the world’s most stunning lakes to a man who cannot see?

The naturalist asks the man to take off his gloves, so that he can take his hands and move them around the crater model and describe its shape and depth and skyline and the curious, cone-shaped island in the middle. But how do you describe the blue of its water – a blue that has no equal – to someone who has not seen blue in many long years?

The visitor remembers the blue of the sky from his childhood. The blue of Crater Lake is nothing like the blue of the sky. But in his mind and his heart, he experiences the wonders of Crater Lake more fully than the naturalist could have ever imagined. And as he walks away, the naturalist realizes that the visitor “had extended his power of seeing – which was an achievement beyond price,” and that “We are all of us somewhat blind, even those who believe their eyesight is faultless.”

I love so many things about this story. My dad, who shares my love of national parks, gave a copy of it to Mom and me several years ago, and I’ve held onto it ever since. And my wise mother, who now leads Taylor’s Tale into an exciting future of new partnerships and boundless possibilities, shared Tilden’s essay with me again this week, urging me to apply the story toward our journey in our fight against Batten disease.

“We are all of us somewhat blind, even those who believe their eyesight is faultless.”

Because, as Mom reminded me, we embarked on this journey with our eyes focused directly on beating Batten disease. Our experience, though, has afforded us peripheral vision. We now understand the connection between all rare diseases – so many of which do not have a single approved treatment – and the millions battling for their lives. And just as the park naturalist and the blind man learned from one another, we, as fellow fighters and advocates, can learn from each other and support each other – and by doing so, we can become more efficient and effective. We will never reach our goals if we fight our battles in our own disease silos.

There is a very rare disorder called giant axonal neuropathy, or GAN. It is an inherited, recessive disease that first appears in early childhood. It results in nerve death and quadriplegia, and it is always fatal. The incidence is unknown, but it probably affects fewer than 100 people in the world.

Undeterred by these odds, the family of a little girl named Hannah decided to fight GAN head-on. In  2008, Lori and Matt Sames founded Hannah’s Hope Fund in their daughter’s honor. That same year, Hannah’s Hope began funding gene therapy for GAN at the University of North Carolina Gene Therapy Center under Dr. Steven Gray. The clinical trial is expected to begin later this year.

Two months ago, Taylor’s Tale and five partners announced funding for gene therapy for infantile and late infantile Batten disease at UNC, also under Dr. Gray. Our project is following in the footsteps of the GAN work that is on the brink of clinical trial. And Lori’s fight for her daughter could very well help lead to a treatment for kids like my sister. Dr. Gray plans to use the same gene vector and methods to treat Batten disease. And if the GAN trial is successful, we will, in Lori’s words, “move like wildfire to apply this to the lives of children with Batten.”

“…move like wildfire to apply this to the lives of children with Batten.”

Together, we can reach our goals. There are so many of us in the rare disease community, and there is strength in numbers. That is an advantage, but it is also the saddest thing of all. There are TOO MANY of us. We’ll change that when we play to our strength by finding treatments for people like Hannah and Taylor.

I think about how the landscape in central Oregon must have looked on the day of the volcanic eruption that created the most beautiful lake in the world. I know that many dedicated people, from the team at UNC to those working to ensure that their science is supported, will move like wildfire to outrun the death and destruction of diseases like Batten and GAN.

And every night, when another day’s work is done, I dream about how beautiful the lake can be when the eruption is over.


The Advocate

By Laura Edwards

The American Society of Gene & Cell Therapy’s annual conference kicked off early this morning in Salt Lake City, Utah. Taylor’s Tale is co-funding gene therapy for infantile Batten disease at the University of North Carolina, so the conference made our short list of “meetings to attend.”

The timing posed just one logistical problem: my father’s brother passed away last Tuesday, and the memorial service was scheduled for this afternoon.

After much soul-searching, Mom let Dad and Taylor put her on a plane bound for Salt Lake City yesterday evening. The minister gave a beautiful service, Dad and his surviving brother shared beautiful words, and Mom’s angel friends and the ladies of the church took great care of everyone. And two time zones from home, Mom did what she does best: save the world, or at least make a good bit of progress.

Mom at playathonFighting Batten disease and being an advocate for a rare disease community of 350 million people is a hard job, especially on top of caring for someone with a life-threatening illness. It’s a full-time job. And Mom, as dedicated as she is to Taylor’s Tale and all that we stand for, will always tell anyone who asks that she’s Taylor’s mother first. Taylor and her classmates have a dance at school on Friday. Before she left town, Mom took Taylor shopping for a dress; yesterday, she left the dress along with the perfect necklace and pair of earrings where Dad could find them. I’m certain that she’ll be sad Friday when she opens her eyes in a hotel room in Utah and pictures Taylor getting ready for that dance and knows that she can’t be there to give her a hug. I know she wanted to be there for my dad this afternoon when he read the words he wrote for his little brother.

But sometimes, saving the world means making tough choices. And this week, Mom’s making the kind of progress we dreamed about when we founded Taylor’s Tale in a Charlotte living room. She’s making the kind of difference I told her we could make – she could make – one night in the summer of 2008 when I stopped our walk in her neighborhood to make a short but passionate speech about how our effort needed to become a public charity.

We’re on the verge of something great, but we haven’t won. Which means my mother’s not done fighting yet. And I wouldn’t trade her for anyone else in the world.


What Drives Me

By Laura Edwards

Tonight marked the fifth annual meeting of the board of directors of Taylor’s Tale. I slid behind the wheel of my car at 9 p.m. – almost three hours after I pulled into my parking spot and long after a faded sun dipped behind swollen, purple clouds outside the windows in the board room.

Four-plus years have passed since we became a public charity; six-plus years have passed since we declared war on Batten disease. The discussion at tonight’s meeting reflected the incredible progress that has been made since my mom placed a bulk order for copies of The Cure, Geeta Anand’s stunning account of how John Crowley raised $100 million in an effort to save his children from Pompe disease, and distributed them to a small battalion of hand-picked soldiers in a Charlotte living room in the fall of 2006.

IMG_0932Tonight, my mom sat at the head of a board room table to deliver her updates. Some of the faces around the table were the same; some of them were different.

One month ago, Mom attended the first Southeast Venture Philanthropy Summit in Chapel Hill. Other attendees included the Michael J. Fox Foundation, the Gates Foundation and sleek biotech companies of all shapes and sizes.

Three days ago, Mom and two other board members toured the University of North Carolina’s Gene Therapy Center Vector Core – the most advanced facility of its kind in the nation. Down the street, one of the nation’s top gene therapy experts, Dr. Steven Gray, is leading a two-year gene therapy study for two forms of Batten disease that is partially funded by Taylor’s Tale. If successful, the work could lead to a human clinical trial in just a few short years. And as much as we want this for Batten disease, it’s much bigger than that. If Dr. Gray gets this to work, it can treat a lot of people with all types of problems; the principles can be applied to many other diseases – from Parkinson’s disease to ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) to Alzheimer’s disease…I could go on. And not only that, but it will be a one-time, low-cost, minimally invasive treatment as opposed to life-long, expensive, potentially invasive treatments that – in many cases – address some of the symptoms but don’t treat the disease.

VectorCenterbannerSeven years ago, I was learning the ropes of healthcare marketing and PR, coaching a girls’ soccer team, covering sports for the local paper and planning a wedding. I had a half-finished young adult novel and figured I’d get to it as soon as the honeymoon ended.

That all changed when I got the phone call.

Google “neuronal ceroid lipofuscinosis” and skim the search results. That’s how I first learned about our new world – and Taylor’s – on July 24, 2006, sitting at my desk at work, with my sobbing mother on the other end of the phone line.

The geneticist who diagnosed my sister said we shouldn’t bother with hope. My response from day one was “Screw that,” but fighting is easier said than done. It’s never been easy.

We’ve lost so much since that day.

But I’m proud of what we’ve achieved. Mom’s reports at tonight’s Taylor’s Tale board meeting embodied all that our team has accomplished and the astounding impact we stand to have.

Our fight began because of our love for one little girl. In those early days, we saw the love and the laughter and the courage that we so cherished about Taylor embodied in all of the children fighting Batten disease, and we fought for them too.

As we forged on, we learned more about the impact of rare disease: 30 million people in the United States – and 350 million worldwide. We realized that we could be doing more with the incredible scientific innovation we already have. We partnered with or endorsed organizations like the Global Genes Project and the EveryLife Foundation and went to Washington to lobby for all those fighting a rare disease.

And as we learned more and more about the wonders of gene therapy and the incredible people behind it, we realized that we could be part of something bigger than we ever imagined.

The possibilities of the immediate future and these next few years are boundless, and my mind races as I think about the impact we – the little group called Taylor’s Tale that my mom and I and a group of women who don’t like to take “no” for an answer founded in a mishmash circle of couches and ottomans and chairs over pimento cheese and egg salad sandwiches – could have – directly or indirectly – on millions of people.

That’s what drives my mind.

But in my heart, I’ll always be driven by my love for “T.”

Taylor_Laura_Cheetah


Magic Carpet to the Stars

By Laura Edwards

My sister, Taylor, was diagnosed with infantile Batten disease on a blistering summer day in 2006, just 26 days before her eighth birthday. I wasn’t in the room with Mom and Dad when they received the news, but I’ll never forget the geneticist’s words to them:

“Take her home and love her. Make happy memories together. That’s all you can do.”

In the worst hour of our lives, we learned that my bright-eyed, golden-haired, intelligent sister – a second grader who loved to sing and dance and run and play – would go blind, have seizures and lose the ability to walk, talk and swallow food. She would deteriorate such that she would be confined to a wheelchair. She would have to have a feeding tube. Eventually, she would die – blind, bedridden and unable to communicate.

For a long time, we refused to condemn Taylor to the horrible fate encoded in her genes. We vowed to fight like hell for my sister – and in the process, for others like her. We never questioned the need to make happy memories with my little sister – we watched the lights of those once-bright eyes fade a little more with each passing month – but we knew that wasn’t ALL we could do.

On Dec. 7, 2006, Taylor, my husband and my grandparents climbed into my Ford Explorer in our driveway in Charlotte. I loaded a Harry Potter audio book into the CD player and pointed the SUV south for Orlando, FL, where my parents were wrapping up a crash course on lysosomal storage disorders at their first research conference and my sister’s dream of seeing Cinderella’s castle and meeting all of the Disney princesses awaited.

At the end of our 600-mile journey, we pulled into Disney’s Port Orleans Resort and collapsed into our beds.

The very next morning, we had breakfast with the princesses inside Epcot Theme Park. Taylor collected all of the royals’ autographs inside a pink and purple autograph book and smiled starry smiles whenever the princesses hugged her and crouched down to whisper secrets in her ear. She got a huge, plush “Dale” hat in honor of her big sister (I’ve had a thing for Chip and Dale since preschool) and giggled at her Papa Jerry’s silly skull hat. She marveled at the giant Christmas tree and climbed to the very top of Peter Pan’s tree house. In the Magic Kingdom, she clapped to the “thump” of the music at the daytime parades and squealed on the peaks and valleys of Space Mountain and Thunder Mountain. She sat on Santa’s lap and asked for reasonable gifts, like new Disney DVDs and pink hula hoops. She called out the colors of the Christmas lights that decorated the floats of the nighttime parade and lifted her face up to the fireworks that painted the sky over Cinderella’s castle.

We spent just two full days in the parks, but we packed a lifetime of memories into those two days. We walked those enchanted sidewalks as anonymously as the thousands of other faces there to enjoy their wonders. We made that time ours – and Taylor’s.

Today is “World Wish Day;” it marks the day that the first child received his wish to be a police officer for a day, inspiring the founding of the Make-A-Wish® Foundation. The Make-A-Wish website states that it has fulfilled the wishes of more than 300,000 children with a life-threatening medical condition.

My sister isn’t among them.

I think that Make-A-Wish is an incredible organization and know that they have brought happiness to many children and families. It just wasn’t for us. Perhaps if we’d called the team at Make-A-Wish when we decided to take Taylor to Disney World in 2006, we could have stayed for longer than two days. Maybe we could have dined with Cinderella in her castle instead of the cute Norwegian banquet hall in Epcot. Maybe we could have stayed at the Polynesian instead of the Port Orleans. But while we all knew, deep inside, that we threw the trip together when we did to give Taylor a chance to see Disney while she still could, for those two days, Batten disease was out of our minds – at least as much as was humanly possible. For two days, we were just a family that loved each other, a family on the trip of our lives.

On our second and last night, we stayed in the park long after the last Christmas parade float disappeared around the bend and the last firework sparkled and died over the gleaming turrets of Cinderella’s castle. Just before the park gates closed, we took Taylor back to her favorite ride, Aladdin’s Magic Carpet.

As the attendant invited my sister and me into the circular ride to select our magic carpet, Aladdin and Jasmine appeared at the gate.

My sister stopped in her tracks. She stared at the two characters, spellbound. She’d seen them, or other actors in the costumes, numerous times in the parks over the past two days – but this was different. Aladdin and Jasmine were there to ride their magic carpet ride, and we were the only other visitors in sight.

I watched as the two bent down to hug Taylor and invited her to ride with them. My sister could only nod and take Aladdin’s hand as he led her to one of the magic carpet cars. And for the next 10 minutes, the attendant let my sister and me ride that magic carpet with the prince and princess, over and over again, as “A Whole New World” played in the background. When our dream ride came to an end, the valiant prince gave my sister a kiss on the cheek.

If we were to go to Disney World today, my beautiful, sweet sister would not be able to see any of its wonders or walk its paths without a lot of assistance. She’d get tired. We’d have to make frequent medication stops. She might smile for the camera, but she wouldn’t know where to look. She couldn’t sing along to her favorite songs or ask her favorite princesses for autographs.

We still haven’t called Make-A-Wish. But on one enchanted evening, my sister and I rode a magic carpet to the stars. Nothing – including Batten disease – can take that away from us.

photo (37)


The Center of the Earth

By Laura Edwards

Scaling a mountain is a popular metaphor for overcoming a great challenge. Well-meaning friends have compared our family’s fight against Batten disease to scaling a mountain.

But on a clear day, you can see the top of a mountain. And thousands of people have reached the summit of Mount Everest, the world’s highest peak at over 29,000 feet. If I had the desire to climb Everest (I don’t), someone could tell me how to do it. Even Edmund Hillary, who made the first known successful ascent, had Tenzing Norgay, a Nepali sherpa climber, to guide him to the roof of the world.

Fighting Batten disease isn’t like climbing a mountain. It’s like traveling to the center of the earth.

No one can tell us which way to go. No one has been there. Though my sister is far from the only person with Batten disease, she, like all others with a terminal illness, travels a path that is hers alone. We, like all those who love someone shackled by a monster like Batten disease, travel a path cloaked in shadows; a path for which there is no map; a path that had a hopeful beginning but no defined end.

The center of the earth is not a nice place to visit. Conditions are so excruciating that they can’t be replicated in a lab. The mantle is like a huge mountain range turned upside down, heated up and shaken, which causes constant avalanches. The outer core is molten iron. Deeper, the pressure is so intense that iron solidifies, even though the inner core is believed to be hotter than the surface of the sun.

As we hurdle downward on our journey – through cascading, rocky peaks, churning lava and broiling metal – we have to make lightning-quick adjustments. We have to change equipment. Sometimes, we don’t have the right equipment for the situation – but we have to forge on anyway. Some days, we suffer first-degree burns. Rarely do we suffer a wound that won’t heal. But in the center of the earth, permanent scars are facts of life.

The center of the earth is a dark place, and you never know what you’ll find around the bend. I fight this fight like it means life or death – because it does – and sometimes, I wonder, “When we get to the end, is it gonna be worth it? What’s at the end? Is the ending of OUR story the ending of THE story, for us?

Most journeys, like most decisions to scale a mountain, are chosen. We didn’t sign up for this trip. But we’re on it, and there’s no turning back.

Buried at the center of the earth is a giant crystal. If brought to the surface, it would stretch across more than half the continental United States.

Even the most hellish journeys have hidden wonders.


The Ghost of Laurel Hill

By Laura Edwards

photo (7)Yesterday morning, I woke with the sun to run the Tar Heel 10 Miler in my little sister’s honor for the fourth consecutive year.

I’ve already collected four race medals for Taylor in 2013, but this one is special. The Tar Heel 10 Miler was just the second competitive race I ever entered; I paid the entry fee for the April 2010 edition not long after watching my sister – blind and suffering from a rare, fatal brain disease – jog across the finish line of Charlotte’s Jingle Jog and Girls on the Run 5Ks on one end of a running buddy’s guiding rope and the wings of her own courage.

The Girls on the Run 5K, staged on a sun-drenched, happy day in May 2009, was Taylor’s second race. It was also her last.

Batten disease has stolen so much from Taylor since it crept into her life that the word “unfair” doesn’t begin to do the job. The ability to run is a precious gift that too many of us take for granted, but my sister has lost many more valuable things.

I wish I could make Batten disease go away. I wish I could work magic – go back in time and give Taylor two good copies of the gene that causes Batten disease or even one good copy (which would make her a healthy carrier, like me). But I can’t.

So I share her story in my own words – both spoken and written. I help support the people who have the knowledge to find answers for children like her – people like Steven Gray, PhD of UNC’s Gene Therapy Center, to which Taylor’s Tale awarded a two-year grant earlier this year.

And I run.

On Saturday morning, I followed the brick sidewalks to the football stadium nestled in the trees on the same campus where Dr. Gray works his magic for children like my sister and where I earned my undergraduate degree. I lined up on the track at field level with 3,253 other runners. When the gun sounded at 7:30, I found an opening in the crowd and sprinted through the stadium tunnel and into my 10-mile mind game.

The Tar Heel 10 Miler, set mostly on the gorgeous UNC campus, has some tough sections, but none come close to Laurel Hill, the 200-foot vertical gain over the course of about one mile at the 8.5-mile mark. It’s so difficult that the race organizers place separate timing mats at the bottom and top and hand out special awards just for the hill, and many self-respecting athletes speed-walk it. I’ve never walked, but I’ve come close.

end of tar heel 2013 I went into Saturday’s race riding a streak of four straight personal records (PRs) for the half marathon, 10 miler, 5K and 10K that started at the Thunder Road Half Marathon in Charlotte last November. Even though I’d beaten my previous 10 miler record by two minutes just two months earlier at a race in Charlotte, I was determined to beat it again.

But when I reached the first Laurel Hill timing mat, things didn’t look good. My quadriceps burned, and worse – I felt winded. I never get winded. I was riding a 7:45/mile pace through the first 8.5 miles, and it’d taken a lot out of me.

As I started the climb, a voice in my head told me it wasn’t my day. I shouldn’t have eaten the sweet potato fries at Top of the Hill the previous night. I shouldn’t have stayed up till midnight watching the Boston Marathon bombing coverage. As I wheezed my way up those 200 vertical feet, I told myself that WHEN I cross the finish line isn’t important to Taylor (which is true). As my Garmin watch beeped its “Behind Pace” beep, again and again…I began to write my post-Tar Heel 10 Miler blog post in my head. I called it, “I Lost My PR and Found My Truth on Laurel Hill.” I talked to myself over my wheezing. “You can do this,” I breathed. “Forget the stupid PR. Just RUN.”

But then, something happened. My quads loosened. The tightness in my chest melted away. The houses perched at the top of Laurel Hill came into view.

For most of the race, I used my Garmin as my guide. I ran for Taylor, but I ran more for myself.

The moment I understood that is when I left the Ghost of Laurel Hill behind.

It seemed like just moments later that the stadium reappeared. I sprinted into the tunnel, down the track and across the finish line.

When I did, the clock read 1:20:48.

I beat my PR for 10 miles by almost two full minutes and ran the Tar Heel 10 Miler four minutes faster than ever before. I finished in the top 16 percent of 3,253 runners. And when I crossed that finish line, I felt as if I could fly.

Almost like I had wings.


Perspective

By Laura Edwards

end of raceBefore Batten disease robbed my little sister of her ability to run, she joined the Girls on the Run team at her school. With the help of a sighted running buddy, she jogged across the finish line of two local 5Ks.

Taylor ran her last race almost four years ago. Around that same time, I ran my first race in her honor.

My sister can’t run anymore, but I’ve logged thousands of miles for her.

In the past five months, I’ve run four races for Taylor – all different distances – and set four new personal records (PRs). Even after making the first page of results and placing second in my division at Charlotte RaceFest on Saturday, I already had my next race on my mind.

I get stuck on my times, because I’m a perfectionist. I like to challenge myself, both mentally and physically. Whereas some runners hate hills, I say, bring them on. They help me keep things in perspective; my sister’s battle against Batten disease is tougher than any hill I’ll ever face, even if I had two broken legs.

But the senseless acts of hatred that took place at the Boston Marathon this afternoon reminded me that it’s not all about when you cross the finish line.

It’s also about the people you love who staked out a spot along the course to wave handmade signs – the people who will give you a hug at the end, no matter how sweaty you are.

It’s about being healthy enough to finish a race – first or last.

It’s about having this day to stage a race, any race – because each day we receive is a gift from God.

My heart goes out to all those affected by the tragedy in Boston today.

And for as long as my legs will carry me, I’ll keep on running for Taylor.