A Spidery Web

By Laura Edwards

Halloween front porch

Autumn hasn’t yet arrived to paint my hometown of Charlotte with its palette of brilliant crimson, gold and flame. But when I went for a solo run to train for the Thunder Road Half Marathon this afternoon, kids played in their Halloween costumes in cul-de-sacs, and the smoky sweetness of fall hung in the air. Pumpkins destined to become jack-o’-lanterns dotted every other front porch.

Just as I found my stride, my mind began to wander to memories of my grandmother. Born on Oct. 31 in 1940, Grandma Kathryn loved Halloween. I called her my Halloween witch, but if she was a witch, she was more like Glenda the Good Witch of the North than her green-hued sister from the West or her ill-fated, ruby slipper-wearing sister from the East. Born on Halloween, she never did a ghoulish thing in her life, instead living a life every bit worthy of the angel wings she received this past Christmas Day. She was far too young to go, and sometimes I think that maybe she was just too good for this world – that God had a greater purpose for her in a place we can’t even imagine. I haven’t always lived my life with honor, but she did, and when I go about my days now, I try to think about what my grandmother would have done before I act.

A love of Halloween is something my sister and my grandmother shared. Taylor’s a girly girl to the core, so a holiday based on a big game of dress-up suited her just fine. She didn’t even much care about eating the candy. But a couple of her costumes “required” eye makeup, blush and a touch of lip gloss. My sister once decorated herself and the cream-colored rug in our parents’ dressing area while sampling all of our mom’s cosmetic products. She couldn’t wait to wear makeup, even as a toddler, and Halloween gave her an excuse to wear lipstick way before she turned 16.

Then, of course, Batten disease crashed into our lives in 2006, the year Taylor turned 8. It didn’t so much crash into my sister’s life as slide into it, because while all of us absorbed our new, terrible knowledge about the progression and ultimate outcome of a disease we’d just met and figured out how to fight it, Taylor remained an oblivious third grader with some night vision loss and learning difficulties.

As the years passed, Taylor, too, got tangled in the spidery web that is Batten disease. In a cruel, ironic twist, what used to be one of her favorite nights of the year became a twist of the knife in all of our backs, including hers. As my sister’s vision and mobility worsened with time, navigating the neighborhood streets during trick-or-treating became more and more difficult. More painful than that, though, was watching as she stood in the open doorways of neighbors who didn’t know about her illness, and the neighbors waited expectedly for her to reach out and take candy from the outstretched bowl. When she stood there motionless – because she couldn’t see the bowl – John, my dad or I reached out in silence to take a few pieces of candy and drop them into Taylor’s trick-or-treat bag.

The only thing that stopped me from losing it in those moments was the sight of my sister on all of those front porches, blind and quickly losing her footing on a slippery slope above the deep, dark chasm of Batten disease, nevertheless standing stick-straight, her shoulders back and her head held high, wearing her Halloween costume like a champ.


Running with the Deer, but not Like the Deer

By Laura Edwards

A few minutes after 10 last night, Andrew picked me up for blindfolded run number 14.

We’re just over five weeks away from the Thunder Road Half Marathon on Saturday, Nov. 16, when I’ll run 13.1 miles blindfolded, in a real race with thousands of other people, guided only by Andrew’s instructions and my little sister’s courage.

blindfoldMy custom blindfolds arrived all the way from the U.K. earlier this week. I ordered two – a purple one for Thunder Road and a white one for our late-night training runs. On its maiden voyage, the white blindfold earned an A-plus compared to the ragged bandannas I’ve used to blind myself since early June, and I know its twin will serve me well on race day. I also practiced running with a water bottle in my right hand; I hold one end of a short bungee cord – my lifeline in a dark world – in my left. Andrew and I discussed the “problem” of water stops early on in our training and decided that the crush of people is just too dangerous, so I’ll carry my hydration with me.

Two times during last night’s run, we crossed paths with the curb that took my ankle the first time I ran blind, on the night of June 5. That night, I got cocky and tried to jump the curb mid-stride, even though I’d been a blind runner for all of 20 minutes. Last night, Andrew and I didn’t take any chances. Well before we reached it, we slowed to a walk and took a deliberate high-step over the offending obstacle. I’ll crawl the length of the race if that’s what I have to do, but I’d rather not.

We spent much of our 4.78-mile run traversing a side road outside our neighborhood (we ran in traffic, but there isn’t much late on a weeknight in our part of town). A huge herd of deer lives nearby, and at one point, Andrew told me he saw a few off in a clearing to our left. So at 10:30 last night, I was running with the deer. At a 9:47/mile clip, I wasn’t running like the deer, but that’s not the point, after all. For the first time ever, my main goal for a race won’t be to run it as fast as I can. I’d still like to get faster. I ran the Thunder Road Half Marathon in 1:57:20 last year, or an 8:58/mile average. With Andrew guiding me, in broad daylight, I think I can match that time blind.

But Taylor never cared about running fast. Taylor only cared about crossing the finish line. And now, fighting Batten disease with every ounce of strength and courage that could possibly be squeezed into one body and one soul, she can’t focus on being the best.

She can only hope to survive.

I will run the Thunder Road Half Marathon blindfolded to support gene therapy co-funded by Taylor’s Tale at the University of North Carolina Gene Therapy Center. Donations to this cause are 100 percent tax-deductible. To support my run and our fight to develop treatments for Batten disease and other genetic diseases, click here.

Join the Taylor’s Tale team at Thunder Road! Click here to register for the marathon, half marathon or 5K. On the second page of registration, under “Event Groups/Teams,” select “Taylor’s Tale” from the list under “Choose an Existing Group.” Run for us to help raise awareness on race day. Stay tuned for more details, including special shirts for team members and an informal post-race event!


The Blindfold

By Laura Edwards

the blindfoldIt’s here – my custom blindfold! I’ve been training for the Thunder Road Half Marathon with a raggedy bandanna, but I thought running 13.1 miles blindfolded for Taylor and the fight against Batten disease called for something special. I ordered my blindfold in Taylor’s Tale purple from the U.K. (I love eBay). About four years ago, I scrawled the phrase “4Taylor” down my left arm in purple marker just minutes before leaving for one of the many races I’ve run in my little sister’s honor since she crossed the finish line of her first 5K, blind and battling for her life. I’ve never run a single race without doing it since. Often, when I come to a steep hill or hit a rough patch in a tough race, I’ll glance down at that phrase on my arm. Even if I’m wearing long sleeves, I know that it’s there. And thinking about Taylor’s courage in the face of the world’s worst disease gives me the extra push I need to dig into my deepest energy reserves. It works every time.

Now that you know exactly what to look for on race day, I hope you’ll join me out on the course if you’re able. Read on to find out how you can be part of the Taylor’s Tale team at Thunder Road or support the cause from afar.

I will run the Thunder Road Half Marathon blindfolded to support gene therapy co-funded by Taylor’s Tale at the University of North Carolina Gene Therapy Center. Donations to this cause are 100 percent tax-deductible. To support my run and our fight to develop treatments for Batten disease and other genetic diseases, click here.

Join the Taylor’s Tale team at Thunder Road! Click here to register for the marathon, half marathon or 5K. On the second page of registration, under “Event Groups/Teams,” select “Taylor’s Tale” from the list under “Choose an Existing Group.” Run for us to help raise awareness on race day. Stay tuned for more details, including special shirts for team members and an informal post-race event!


A Glimmer of Light

By Laura Edwards

Under the watchful eye of the crescent moon and several stray clouds a few minutes after 10 last night, I pulled a worn bandanna over my eyes, took one end of a short bungee cord and took off with my sighted guide at my side for blind training run number 13.

Andrew set an easy pace for our four-mile run; we never averaged better than a 9:02 mile (of course, I saved my best for last; it doesn’t make sense because I’m a natural sprinter, but I get faster as I go). For the first time, we also played it safe on all of the ankle-breaking obstacles, walking over the decorative stamped concrete strips and speed bumps. With the Thunder Road Half Marathon just about six weeks away, we didn’t want to risk another ankle injury.

I can’t see shapes or colors through either of the “blindfolds” I’ve used for training, but at night, flashing traffic signals, bright headlights and even the light from some street lamps penetrate the thin fabric. Last night, I made out a street light about halfway through our run and figured out our location in relation to my house.

Batten disease is a degenerative disease. Everyone’s different, but what that means for Taylor is that she had all of her abilities and seemed healthy until about the first grade, and she didn’t have any physical problems until a year later, when she began to lose her night vision. She went blind over several years, losing first her night, then her central and finally her peripheral vision. I’ll never forget a moment outside a year-round Christmas shop on the South Carolina coast during a family vacation a few years after her diagnosis. When we walked by the shop, Taylor mentioned the “pretty Christmas lights,” stopping us all in our tracks. I don’t know if my sister ever saw the lights on her own Christmas tree again after that hot summer night at the beach. But when that glimmer of light darted into her shadowy world and brightened it, if only for a moment, it made my heart – if not my head – believe she had a very bright light waiting at the end of her twisted, dark tunnel.

“It made my heart – if not my head – believe she had a very bright light waiting at the end of her twisted, dark tunnel.”

My sister and I are not the same. I can still see flashing lights through thin fabric, and I can take off my makeshift blindfold whenever I want. Last week, I custom-ordered the thickest blindfold I could find; it should be here any day now. I’ll wear it at Thunder Road, because I want to run as my sister ran: in total darkness, with nothing but my guide and Taylor’s courage to lead me to the end. And when Andrew and I cross the finish line, I’ll rip off that blindfold, and I’ll take in the light with the two working eyes God gave me. Because I know tragedy, and it makes me want to fight that much harder to hold on to all the good that I have.

I will run the Thunder Road Half Marathon blindfolded to support gene therapy co-funded by Taylor’s Tale at the University of North Carolina Gene Therapy Center. Donations to this cause are 100 percent tax-deductible. To support my run and our fight to develop treatments for Batten disease and other genetic diseases, click here.

Join the Taylor’s Tale team at Thunder Road! Click here to register for the marathon, half marathon or 5K. On the second page of registration, under “Event Groups/Teams,” select “Taylor’s Tale” from the list under “Choose an Existing Group.” Run for us to help raise awareness on race day. Stay tuned for more details, including special shirts for team members and an informal post-race event!


A Blind 10K, and Some More for Good Measure

By Laura Edwards

Blind run #13This morning, Andrew and I did the most normal thing in the world: we drove to an almost deserted office park south of our neighborhood and warmed up with a .82-mile jog at about a 9:00/mile pace. But that’s when we threw “normal” out the window: when Andrew handed me one end of a short bungee cord, and I pulled a purple blindfold down over my eyes, blocking out the brilliant sunlight in the cloudless sky. That’s when two runners – one sighted, one blind – stepped into the bike lane facing traffic and picked up the pace for a 6.5-mile run.

Blind run number 12 marked not only our longest run to date, but also our fastest. Over 6.5 miles, we averaged about an 8:30 mile and even briefly dipped into the sixes on some of the downhills (without taking a double face plant). I ran faster with the blindfold than without it, even at the end of the run.

With the exception of one large loop in an offshoot, we traversed the same road – a road with a gradual climb – several times and made a U-turn each time we reached the end (doing so allowed us to practice our double U-turn skills!). That gave me a very different sensation from all of the tight cul-de-sacs and speed bumps in our neighborhood. The road also included a bridge over Interstate 485, with a different surface from the pavement covering the rest of the road. The bridge felt like corrugated cardboard beneath the soles of my high-cushioned Brooks running shoes. We passed a few walkers, runners and cyclists. Andrew told me that once, we passed a woman wearing a purple shirt (purple is the color for Taylor’s Tale). Another time, he told me that a mother driving with her teenage son in the passenger seat slowed the car and pointed, urging her son to look at us (I smiled with my eyes beneath my blindfold when Andrew told me that). We – or at least I – had one scary moment when a driver came flying down the road in our lane. Without my vision, I had no concept of whether or not I was about to be hit by a car, and I instinctively jumped toward, and almost into, my sighted guide (and my stomach jumped into my throat). Andrew told me the car was about 10 feet from us, but the driver was speeding so quickly that I felt all of the car’s force in my bones. I wonder now if Andrew felt the same way, or if I felt it at a heightened level because I couldn’t see it coming.

My goal for the Thunder Road Half Marathon is to average at least a 9:00 mile. I ran faster than that in the race last year and think that with Andrew’s direction and Taylor’s courage to guide me, I can match that even without the gift of sight.

news 14 filming

p.s. Earlier, I called today’s outing blindfolded run #12, but I didn’t count this past Monday, when I donned the blindfold and ran with Andrew for a News 14 Carolina story that aired in Charlotte. You can watch it online here. More coverage is on the way, so stay tuned!

As a reminder, I’m doing this crazy thing not just so I can talk about it, but to help support our fight against Batten disease and to save people like Taylor. Read on to find out how you can support our efforts through my run as well as how you can join our team on race day. If you plan to run for our team, please send me a note ASAP (even if you won’t register ASAP) to help us plan. Thank you!

I will run the Thunder Road Half Marathon blindfolded to support gene therapy co-funded by Taylor’s Tale at the University of North Carolina Gene Therapy Center. Donations to this cause are 100 percent tax-deductible. To support my run and our fight to develop treatments for Batten disease and other genetic diseases, click here.

Join the Taylor’s Tale team at Thunder Road! Click here to register for the marathon, half marathon or 5K. On the second page of registration, under “Event Groups/Teams,” select “Taylor’s Tale” from the list under “Choose an Existing Group.” Run for us to help raise awareness on race day. Stay tuned for more details, including special shirts for team members and an informal post-race event!


Running in the Dark Under the Watchful Eye of the Sun

By Laura Edwards

john and LauraMeet my pinch runner for my blindfolded runs – my better half, John. After work tonight, John offered to take me out again – or, as he likes to say, “take his wife for a walk” (on the bungee cord, which does kind of look like a short leash from more than five feet away).

We struck out just a few minutes after 7 p.m., so we had plenty of daylight left. I pulled the blindfold down over my eyes for the 11th time overall, but just the second time before sunset.

Running in the “dark” opened my eyes to a whole new world; in all of my previous training runs, I’ve heard sounds and felt sensations that were always there but drowned out by the wealth of visual information I’m able to take in and process with the 20-20 vision I get from strong contact lenses or glasses. I’ve picked out single notes from cricket symphonies and come to know the touch and feel of warm raindrops on sweat-soaked skin.

I’ve picked out single notes from cricket symphonies and come to know the touch and feel of warm raindrops on sweat-soaked skin.

But running in the dark under the watchful eye of the sun is an entirely different experience. As John led me around our neighborhood to help me train to run a half marathon blindfolded in honor of a girl who’s anything but ordinary, suburban noise – the soundtrack of life as usual – filled my ears. A young boy said goodbye to his grandma; car doors closed. Kids played in a cul-de-sac while their moms stood in a driveway and talked. A dog got away from its owner and ran toward us, so we practiced coming to a stop without adding an unwanted flip and roll. A woman taking a walk said “That’s amazing” when she approached us.

John and I don’t live in a small neighborhood; with 800 houses inhabited by mostly families, we easily have over 3,000 neighbors. But it’s still a small corner of the world when you consider that seven billion people live on this planet. And yet, so much life – so many memories – happened in the short time it took my husband and me to run three blindfolded miles on its streets.  I can’t tell you a single thing about what that boy or his grandma looked like or what game those kids played, what kind of dog came to say hello to us or if the walker had kind eyes. I love my blind runs, but I miss a lot, too.

Batten disease steals so MUCH from my sister. And that’s just the blindness. When I pull that blindfold down over my eyes, I disable my vision, but I don’t give myself seizures or cognitive impairment; I don’t take away my ability to walk – in fact, my legs work just fine (even though my ankles are another story); and when I get a runner’s high, I feel invincible, like maybe I’ll live forever.

But then, the run ends, and I take the blindfold off, and I’m just me again – the sister who got a healthy copy of the Batten disease gene. Taylor didn’t do anything to deserve two bad copies of that gene. It makes me mad as hell that she got them anyway. And I’ll never stop running for her.

But then, the run ends, and I take the blindfold off, and I’m just me again – the sister who got a healthy copy of the Batten disease gene.

I will run the Thunder Road Half Marathon blindfolded to support gene therapy co-funded by Taylor’s Tale at the University of North Carolina Gene Therapy Center. Donations to this cause are 100 percent tax-deductible. To support my run and our fight to develop treatments for Batten disease and other genetic diseases, click here.

Join the Taylor’s Tale team at Thunder Road! Click here to register for the marathon, half marathon or 5K. On the second page of registration, under “Event Groups/Teams,” select “Taylor’s Tale” from the list under “Choose an Existing Group.” Run for us to help raise awareness on race day. Stay tuned for more details, including special shirts for team members and an informal post-race event!


The Path Not Chosen

By Laura Edwards

blindfolded run Sept 18Charlotte’s Thunder Road Half Marathon is less than two months away. I could run a full marathon tomorrow, but I promised my little sister, and the rest of the free world, that I’d run the half marathon blindfolded. That’s right – blindfolded. I gave myself five months to learn to run in the dark, guided only by the feel of the road beneath my feet, verbal instructions from and occasional tension placed on a three-foot bungee cord by my sighted guide, Andrew Swistak.

Five months sounds like plenty of time to learn how to be blind, right?

When I woke up this morning, I’d run in my world of darkness a grand total of nine times. Andrew and I live pretty crazy lives, so it’s not always easy to get together, even for a 30-minute run.

So tonight, when my husband, John, said he’d pinch run for Andrew for a second time, I had my blindfold on before John could lace up his shoes.

My husband is talented at many things, and I admire and love him for taking a turn on the other end of that bungee cord – my lifeline on these runs. But he’s not an experienced runner like Andrew, and while Andrew’s only led me on eight blind runs, eight is a heck of a lot more than one. On top of that, my ankles are still wobbly, and I just put 60 miles on them in Grand Teton and Yellowstone National Parks.

So we took it slow – 11:33/mile over 2.07 miles, to be exact (almost three minutes per mile slower than my average pace for a half marathon). We had a few hiccups. We haven’t mastered our spacing or our tension on the cord or our timing for turns the way Andrew and I have mastered all of those things.

But I didn’t fall. I didn’t hurt my ankles. And when you have 20-20 vision with contact lenses and you promised the world you’d run a half marathon blind, 10 practice runs in a blindfold feels better than nine practice runs in a blindfold.

And my pinch runner and I might have been slow as a couple of snails on practice run number 10, but I like to look at the bright side of things. I got to spend time with my husband – time I wouldn’t have had with him otherwise; I didn’t hurt my ankles, whereas quickening my pace could have been dangerous; slowing down helped me experience sensory things, such as the feel of a divot in the pavement, a “hello” from a passing neighbor and a cool breeze on my skin, autumn whispering after the lingering summer heat died with the setting sun.

I woke up this morning hoping I could notch blindfolded run number 10 with Andrew, my sighted guide for the Thunder Road Half Marathon. After all, the more miles we log together, the better we’ll be together on race day.

But instead, I hit the streets with my pinch runner. And though it’s not the path I would have chosen, I made the best of my situation.

Race training schedule conflicts don’t come anywhere close to having a monster like Batten disease in your genes. But we can’t do anything to turn back time; to change what’s already encoded in Taylor’s cells. Though we cherish the memories of the days before the knowledge of Batten disease came crashing into our lives, we can’t look back. We can look at the photos that captured Taylor’s eyes when they could see; in my mind’s eye, I can see her running down the beach and crashing into the waves, her golden locks blowing in the breeze and her silent laughter filling my ears.

We can’t bring back the past, but we can change the future. We can change it for lots of Taylors.

Batten disease isn’t the path I would have chosen, not in a billion years. But I’ll make the best of this situation, even if my own life depends on it. I’ll keep running this race till the very end.

I will run the Thunder Road Half Marathon blindfolded to support gene therapy co-funded by Taylor’s Tale at the University of North Carolina Gene Therapy Center. Donations to this cause are 100 percent tax-deductible. To support my run and our fight to develop treatments for Batten disease and other genetic diseases, click here.

Join the Taylor’s Tale team at Thunder Road! Click here to register for the marathon, half marathon or 5K. On the second page of registration, under “Event Groups/Teams,” select “Taylor’s Tale” from the list under “Choose an Existing Group.” Run for us to help raise awareness on race day. Stay tuned for more details, including special shirts for team members and an informal post-race event!


A Jackson Hole Half Marathon, and 60 Miles at High Altitude for Taylor

By Laura Edwards

I haven’t gone on a blind run in three weeks, but I keep logging miles for Taylor. If you follow my blog, you know my ankles are trashed. And if you read this post from a couple of weeks ago, you’ll remember that I re-injured one of them trimming my roses. Yeah, trimming roses – not playing soccer or kicking butt in a race. That injury made me wonder, for the first time, whether or not I’d really make it to Nov. 16, the date of the Thunder Road Half Marathon, healthy enough to run 13.1 miles with a blindfold over my eyes.

I had a tough time limping up my mountainous driveway after the latest gardening injury, so logic would say I’d take a couple of weeks off from weight-bearing activity. But instead, I hopped on a plane bound for the Jackson Hole airport at 7:00 the very next morning. After a hasty connection in Salt Lake City and, with deepest apologies to my home state of North Carolina, the best pulled pork sandwich I’ve ever had in downtown Jackson, my husband and I set foot on our first trailhead in Grand Teton National Park by 2:15 p.m. MST. I laced up my ankle braces and my top-of-the-line boots, said a prayer to God, dug my poles into the Wyoming dirt and hiked my first 3.2 miles to and from sparkling Taggart Lake.

Taggart LakeThat night, I set up the two chairs on the porch of our cabin so they faced each other. I went to the laundry cabin for four large bags of ice, came back, plopped down in one of the chairs, put my ugly feet in the other, wrapped my ruined ankles in the bags of ice and stuck my nose in a book for 20 minutes to avoid the funny looks I imagined the resort’s other guests might be throwing my way.

The next day, I didn’t have any swelling, which in my twisted mind means that I’m fine, whether or not I have any pain (I did). So I told John a white lie and picked a trail that would take us past a couple of popular picture-taking spots near the gorgeous Jenny Lake, then beyond the crowds and deep into Cascade Canyon, all the way to Lake Solitude, for a 19-mile roundtrip hike.

The view at Inspiration Point, perched at 7,200 feet over the sapphire waters of Jenny Lake, is enough for most people, and they turn around. When we took a break there for a drink of water and a couple of SHOT Bloks, I could see why.

Inspiration PointBut I don’t like to stop with the rest of the crowd, and while Jenny Lake is the gem, Lake Solitude sounded like the place to be. So we continued on into Cascade Canyon.

Cascade CanyonThough I have the heart and lungs of a marathon runner, I have the ankles of a kid who played every minute of too many double-overtime soccer games when she should have been on injured reserve. My latest injuries – those of the blindfolded running and gardening variety – slowed me down, and as the Wyoming daylight faded, we realized we wouldn’t make it to our lake of solitude. So we turned around early, making our 19-mile hike a 13.1-mile hike. When we reached the car later, I told myself that Taylor would be proud of the miles we’d logged. And even though we didn’t achieve our goal, those miles were good enough for me.

We hiked our Jackson Hole half marathon for Taylor on just our second day out of nine full days in Wyoming. In fact, our “half marathon” didn’t even represent our toughest hike; that would be our journey to a point high above Amphitheater Lake in the Lupine Meadows area of Jackson Hole – a shorter hike at about 10.6 miles, but with an approximate 3,350-foot elevation gain over 5.3 miles to 10,000 feet above sea level.

Amphitheater Lake ridgeIn total, we hiked 60 miles. I dedicated all 60 to my sister. Some of the miles were easy. Some of them were hard. Because of my ankles, some of them were tougher than they had to be. But the rewards, from the wildlife we encountered to the sweeping views we enjoyed to the cleansing effect the mountains had on my soul, made every tough mile worth the effort.

That’s how I hope our fight against Batten disease will be, in the end. Some days it is. Some days we get amazing news or score an incredible (small) victory or witness something powerful in my sister that, like a gorgeous view or a long, invigorating drink of fresh, clean water, gives me strength for the next set of switchbacks up the mountain. Some days Batten disease knocks us down and kicks dirt in our face and rubs rocks in our wounds. There are more of those days. But the good days are so much more powerful that they overcome the bad, even though they’re outnumbered.

I called my parents one night while I was icing my ankles on the porch of our cabin in Jackson. Mom put Taylor on the phone, and I told her about the big bull moose John and I saw in the woods. I told her about his chocolate skin and his huge rack of antlers and how lazy he was, just sitting there chewing on grass in the trees while people took pictures of him. Mom told me that was the first time Taylor laughed all day.

mooseI had so much fun describing that moose to my sister. But I wish she could join me on the trails so I could REALLY share my love of hiking with her. I loved coming up with ways to tell her about the moose, but I wish Taylor could experience things like that for herself.

While I took another trip of a lifetime, Taylor sat at home, waiting for her big sister to call and tell her about sights and sounds and experiences that she can only dream about.

That’s why I hate Batten disease.

That’s why I’ll never stop fighting.


Is it Important to have Dreams?

By Laura Edwards

I devote a lot of words to talking about my dreams for my little sister, Taylor, and our fight against Batten disease. But I don’t spend a lot of time talking about her dreams.

Taylor can’t talk to me about her dreams anymore. I haven’t gotten an update in a couple of years. She used to want to be a pop star or a vet.

I wish Taylor could tell me what she dreams about now. To be a teacher? Or a doctor? To travel the world? To see again? To not be sick?

Taylor turned 15 last month. At 15, I wanted to earn a soccer scholarship and write books and draw for Disney. I wanted to explore the world. I wanted to have lifelong friends. I wanted my grandmother to live forever. I wanted to fall in love.

At 31, I’m still pretty athletic. I haven’t finished my first book, but I’m close. I didn’t end up drawing for Disney, but while I love to draw, I love to write more. I’ve been to amazing places. I still spend time with friends I met before I could drive, and I married my high school sweetheart. I have an incredible family. I lost my grandmother and other people close to me. I’ve learned that loss is a part of life, but I’ve lived a lot of my dreams.

I’ve lived a lot of my dreams, and it makes me crazy that monsters like Batten disease keep kids like Taylor from living theirs.

What were your dreams at 15? At 31? Did they change? Did you achieve all of them? If not, why? Is it important to have dreams?